By- Tom Kubrak
I remember after another injury I got as a young boy, I started to tear up. My father of course inspected the injury quickly and after realizing it was another little scratch grabbed me by the shirt, got down to eye level with me and asked,
“Are you still a baby!?”
Wiping the tears out of my eyes I angrily responded back, “No I’m not a baby?
He simply asked, with that death stare he gave me when he wasn’t satisfied with how I was acting.
“Then why are you acting like one?”
I stared back and didn’t respond. So he continued his stare and stated,
“Babies cry. Men don’t.”
I understood from that moment on that I need to get over things quickly. So, I stopped crying over those little things that happened, but I started crying in a different way. I started to get mad at people and I wasn’t able to let it go. I started to hold grudges against people.
As I continued to grow up though I realized my fathers words didn’t just apply to crying but it applied to my life and my relationships with people. So after a long period of my life of having no idea what to do with it, failing in many endeavors, getting fired from positions, I realized something profound. I told myself,
“I have to move on from my past or I’m never going to make it to my future.”
So I started to call people that I did wrong too. I gave up the fact that the other person might have done something wrong too and took ownership for my actions.
The Importance of Moving On
In order to move on there’s a few things you have to do. The three steps are outlined below. The reason you want to move on is because whether you like it or not this person you keep talking about to your best friend, wife, mom, dad, etc. is on your mind a lot. It’s effecting people whom you have great relationships with and people who you’re trying to start relationships with personally and professionally. If you want to maximize your work and the relationships you have in your life then you need to start making some phone calls and forgiving people.
Yes, it’s easier said than done, but you have to do this personally within yourself first. Forgive the other person.
Realizing that the relationship might not be where it was at before right away, or ever, you still need to step up.
Don’t wait for the other person to call. Be the one to call and make it right. Maybe they won’t forgive you.. who knows! But you will be able to move on in your own life now that you’ve forgiven them.
If they don’t forgive you that doesn’t mean you don’t have to forgive them.
Listen and Compromise
Let’s say you both forgive each other. From there, you have to figure out how to move on in the best way. A lot of times you have to do a little compromising.
Go out for some lunch or a coffee and just talk with each other. Listen to each others point of view and pinpoint what went wrong, what you will do and not do in the future.
If you’re trying to bring back your relationship to the level it was at before, then you must do this or your second try at it will not last long.
Now it’s time to implement the things you both discussed. Take action and change your behavior.
We’ve all made a lot of stupid decisions in our lives. You’ve said a lot of dumb things. You’ve put yourself where you are now because of your own actions. You have no one else to blame but yourself.
Why not get to a better place in your life? Forgive the people who have done you wrong. Or Vice Versa, ask for forgiveness from the people whom you’ve done wrong.
Regardless, the choice is yours. If you want the best for you and your family though…
Make the damn call.
“Just in a professional world, sometimes a phone call is more meaningful than a text.” – Kevin Harvick
By- Tom Kubrak
IG & TWTR @tomkubrak
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